Childhood Journals
by HiguraSHi18990
Summary: When Asami finds a stack of old journals, belonging none other then to Takaba, he finds out what life really was like for Akihito growing up. As he reads on watch how their relationship progresses and their feelings for each other grow. Idea gotten from the book Runaway by Wendelin van Draanen Warning: will contain child abuse, alcohol & drug abuse, & swearing Give it a try...
1. The Box

**I'm finally back! Yay! I'm not dead! Though I feel like sh*t right now as I write this, so be thankful people! Don't hate on me! I got a new story for u guys!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothin' and plot based off of a book I read once when I was younger**

**Warning: cursing (maybe), umm future smex scenes, mentions of abuse and all that (don't wanna give to much away)**

_**Childhood Journals**_

**Chapter 1: The Box**

"That's the last one!"

Akihito called from the door to his apartment. It had been five years since he had met Asami. Their lives have finally settled down to the norm. Asami is still the king of the underworld in Japan, while Akihito was still out on the streets running from bad guys. The couple had become closer over the years. The old yakuza had finally decided to ask (more like order) for Akihito to move in fully with him. It would be easier to keep track of his kitten, and have more time to play.

They were at Akihito's apartment gathering what was left of his belongings, mostly consisting of books about photography, clothes, and small knickknacks. Akihito insisted he pack his own things, not wanting random guys to touch what was his, so, Asami took the day off to tease his kitten as he helped pack his belongings into labeled boxes.

"Are you done?" Asami called from the bedroom. For such a small apartment, it sure can hold a lot.

He heard a "Yeah!" then footsteps heading his way. Akihito appeared at the door. His boy had grown up since that day five years ago. The immature, shy, pride obsessed boy was now...the same...just more mature when needed. He had built a bit of muscle from his nightly running from the bad guys. He had grown a few inches, but was still much shorter than Asami. Akihito had also changed his hair. What once was a pretty light brown was now died back to its natural silver-blond, going down to the middle of his neck. Asami never understood why on earth the boy would hide such a unique and beautiful hair color. Akihito said it made him look to girly and, though, it may be true it only added to the boys natural beauty.

Akihito looked around his bedroom to make sure he wasn't leaving anything behind. Asami stood by the door watching his kitten. He let his gaze wonder, his eyes catching something hidden far back in the open closet. He made his way towards it, reaching up to grasp the side of an old cardboard box. Looking closer the word "Journals" was scribbled on the side with black marker. Once he set the box down one was able to see that the box held exactly what it said. Inside were about seven black and white notebooks, some more worn than the others, while others looked to be brand new or slightly used.

" What are these?" he asked.

"Hmm?" Akihito turned to him, his face falling for a split second when his eyes caught the box beside his lover, "Just throw those away. They're old journals I used to keep when I was younger, their useless now," he explained. Takaba walked over to Asami, taking the box from the ground and walking out, Asami following from behind.

Asami was curious now. He had seen the look his lover made when he had laid eyes on the box. What could have been written in those books to make his boy react like that? "Why throw them out? Don't you want to look back to your childhood when you were even more of a trouble maker then now?" he asked in his usual low voice. He saw the faintest of smiles on Akihito's face, but it disappeared just as quickly, replaced by a soft "No".

Outside the apartment door Asami's most trusted body guards, Kirishima and Suoh, followed closely behind their boss and his lover. Once outside the building Kirishima immediately quickened his pace, enough to get ahead of his boss to open the limo door for him, while Suoh got into the driver's side. Asami watched as Akihito went left, toward the rusted green garbage cans just outside his apartment complex. Aki shifted the weight of the box to one arm, his other lifted the trash-bin open, allowing him to slid the box inside. He stared at the bin a moment to long. The boy looked depressed as he made his way to the car and Asami wanted to know why.

Akihito slid inside on the other side of Asami. Kirishima closed the door, making his way to his own seat for Suoh to drive off. Asami spoke getting his lovers attention, "I have to go finish some work. You will go home and unpack, understood?"

Akihito rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah, I get it. Gee, you sound like a mom," he commented.

Asami raised an eye brow at that, " Like your mother?"

Akihito looked at him with a grim expression, but Asami couldn't question it since it was gone the next second. He shook his head, not meeting Asami's eyes and said, "No, not like my mother, a mother."

They rode in silence. Asami knew nothing of Akihito's family. He had done a background check on the boy, but all he had found was that he has lived on his own since he was 15 and his parents died. The file was so small, the average life story, he hadn't given it a second glance. But, if there was something his lover was hiding, he wanted to know. Now.

Akihito was dropped off at the penthouse with his belongings and Suoh to help him. Kirishima drove back to club Shion. The elevator up to the yakuzas main office was quiet as usual, though, the air had a different feel to it. Kirishima could tell what his boss was thinking, he was his best secretary. He had seen Takaba throw out that box, his bosses eyes after the whole scene. He himself was curious. Not much can catch the attention of his powerful boss, only few have, one being the kid and now that box.

Opening the door for his boss, he made his way to his desk, already piled with paperwork needing his signature. Before he could leave Asami called out to his secretary, "Kirishima," the man turned back to face his boss, "Order someone to go back to Takaba's apartment. Find that box he threw out earlier and bring it here."

"Yes Asami-sama," he replied with a bow and walked off to do as ordered.

Fifteen minutes later a knock came from the door, Kirishima walked in carrying what his boss wanted, the box with a few garbage stains on it. Asami motioned for him to place it on his desk. He did so, giving a bow to show he was leaving. Asami went back to finishing his paperwork, not even glancing at the box. Once the last papers were signed and placed on the stack of finished papers he called his secretary back in, who immediately gathered the files and took his leave.

Finally, Asami could now focus at the matter at hand. The yakuza emptied the box on his desk. Seven black and white notebooks laid over the desk, some older than others and some more used. Picking up one at random Asami noticed a deformed 4 carved inside, by a pen, on the front inside cover. He checked them all, finally finding the one with a 1 on it. Carefully placing the rest of the notebooks back into the box, Asami flipped back open to the first page of his kitten's old journal.

_'Lets see what your hiding...'_

**Ok, that was the first Chapter of my new story! I would like to say sorry to all my followers. I haven't been updating lately is due to me being sick and bedridden. Bronchitis is a bitch -,-... well, I'll try to get two more updates up this week, but I've been really drained lately. Expect an update later today for Cinderfinder, and be patient.**

**Thanks...**

**Review! I promise it'll be more interesting then it seems...**


	2. The First Journal

**Yup, the awaited chapter is finally here! Ok u guys wanna know what sucks, I got my tablet back today, and I already started rewriting the damn chapter...**

**Yeah, the irony...**

**Anyway, ima leave a little note to those of u who are reading my I'm Done story; IT WILL NOT BE LIKE THOSE OTHER AKI GOES TO AMERICA STORIES! Gosh damn, I got like five comments on that. Yes, there is a popular story about Akihito running away to America to his sister but I never meant for mine to seem similar. I've had the idea in my head for years and until now decided to write it.**

**Ok, on with this story!**

**Warning: abuse, depression, cursing, and future smex scenes**

**Disclaimer: don't own nothin'**

**Chapter 2: The First Journal (part one)**

Asami slowly opened the journal to the first page. A part of him, though very tiny, still told him to stop and put the book down. If his lover didn't want whatever secrets he may hold revealed then he had no right to look through his past journals without permission. Right? Wait, he was Asami Ryuichi, lord of the underworld. He did not ask for permission, he did what he wanted when he wanted.

Asami began to read:

_January 5, 1991_

_12:07 am, Friday_

_I don't know why I'm writing in this. It's so stupid! What good will it do to write? Writing won't bring back my dad, it won't help my mom, it won't keep her creep of a boyfriend away from me!_

_Maybe I should start from the beginning..._

_Incase someone finds my dead body somewhere in the gutter and so happens to get a hold of this book, I am Takaba Akihito. I'm Japanese from my dad's side and American from my mom's, though she is part Japanese too. I don't really need to explain their story to myself, I already know and I won't be like those weirdos who call their journals "you" and write like their talking to it. But I guess I'll put a little reminder for myself, that my parents actually loved each other and life was actually worth living._

_Katsunari-sensei gave me this journal yesterday after school. I'm not really the talkative type, so he thought writing could be a sort of outlet for me. _

_"Takaba, you need to find a way to express yourself. Writing is a good way to let out emotions, to get all your thoughts down and be able to look back at everything going through your head. I won't read it, or grade it. It's just something I think will do you good."_

_Hmp, do me good? I'll tell you what will do me good, if social service actually listened to me for once and took me away from here. That's what'll do me some good!_

_..._

_Ok, lost my temper for a minute. I'm working on that._

_I really should go to sleep, it is a weekday and dear old mom will have a hissy fit if I'm late to school yet again._

_This will probably be the first, and last, time I write. Who needs a stupid journal anyway? I don't "let out emotions", my emotions are just fine, thank you very much. Who needs friends? I've depended on who all my life? Me, myself and I, that's who!_

_So, goodbye journal, see you never..._

_January 5, 1991 (again)_

_3:02 pm, Friday_

_I really need to get a life. I promised myself to not waste my time writing in this stupid journal, but today hasn't been the very best._

_I had to run to school, thanks to my mom choosing to take care of her boyfriend instead of me, again. After getting scolded by the teacher, class finally started. As always I ignored the whispered insults and swept away the crumpled pieces of paper people threw at my head. I don't get why they hate me so much. I've been good...mostly. I haven't antagonized (big word!) a classmate or really talk to anyone for them to treat me like this._

_When the teacher asked who wanted to pass out paper for the assignment the first hand up wasn't surprising; Yuudai Katashi, the worst guy on planet earth. Yuudai, the 'ace student', the golden child, the athlete, the optimist, the list goes on and on about great him. What a bunch of bull. If one were to actually check his average grade it would be in the -B-C range; the only reason he got B's was because he would cheat on important things like tests. The only things he's good at is sports, being a jackass and a complete liar. Why can't teachers see through fake smiles? Anyway, when he got to my desk he held out the paper, as if to hand it to me, only to retract his arm and skip over to the next desk. Of course everyone giggled. It's Yuudai's fault I get bullied. He's hated me since I first transferred here and, with him being popular, everyone else did to. It sucks!_

_It was really annoying when Katsunari-sensei smiled at me for taking out this stupid journal. It was just because I had no other paper source._

_What kind of stupid Do Now is that? Write a haiku about the most embarrassing moment of your life. Do you wanna hear embarrassing, Katsunari-sensei?_

**Stuck naked inside,**

**With no one but him and myself,**

**Chained, tears falling.**

_I bet that would get me a check plus! No, no one would believe me anyway. They never believe me, never, all because of my troublemaker appearance. So, instead I put:_

_**Slipped on water,**_

_**At the store, maybe years ago,**_

_**Ouch, it really hurt bad.**_

_Yeah, that's the story you want to hear._

_I remember when that happened. It was when my mom and her boyfriend were going to get more beer. I was running around, right into a puddle of water the store clerk happened not to notice. I felt my world tilt, literally, letting out a shout when my skull connected with the tile flooring. That douche bag of an ex laughed. My mother, since she wasn't buzzed so she had some sense, came rushing over. I couldn't get up without tripping over myself. In the end I left with a headache, while that ex kept telling me I did a good job, the store clerk gave them free beer as an apology._

_Anyway, lunch is what really put me in a bad mood. Like always, I sat alone. I didn't really have friends. Not even the other outcast talk. Their to afraid of Yuudai to even get close to me. So, like always while I was eating Yuudai and his flock of minions were at the table next to mine, yelling out insults when the teacher wasn't around. Today, though, there was something he said that really got to me. I remember exactly what he said:_

_"Hey freak! Is your mom still working the corner? Don't think your old man would like that, if he wasn't rotting in the ground!"_

_That was going to far. Even his minions looked a little shocked, but still laughed shakily, only if to avoid a beating._

_I picked up my tray and left. I didn't even listen to the lunchroom staff who tried to stop me, they can go screw themselves. How could he say that? Why would you make fun of such a thing? The worst part is that, even if he was just joking and didn't know, everything he says about me is true._

_I hate it, with all my heart I hate it._

_The teachers want to know why I was crying earlier? Do you really want to know? You wouldn't believe be even if I told you. Yuudai is your favorite and everyone knows it. "Sensei, can I help you with that?" "Oh, let me get that sensei?" Go rot in a puddle and die. All of them!_

_I hate all of them more than I have tears to cry._

_January 5, 1991 (again, again)_

_3:45 pm, Friday_

_I forgot to mention before. My life may not be that good but there is one thing that brings me happiness. Well, two actually._

_Animals and photography._

_Animals can always tell what you're thinking. I love animals with all my heart, especially the alley cat that hangs around our house. Aren't black cats supposed to be bad luck? I'm not sure, but this cat is one of the few things I love about my life. On my walk home I always get to say hi to her. She's homeless so I named her Elvira. My mom wont let me keep her, wouldn't want her "clean" home to get dirty. Elvira is only a kitten, but she looks healthy. With her street smarts and me bringing her food everyday she is able to get by. All I have to do is whistle and she comes running. I love her._

_Then there is photography._

_It's an amazing form of art. People often question the power of photos. Why take a picture if you already have a mental picture up there, in your mind? Well, the answer is simple to those who can see it. Memories fade as time goes by. With one pictures those small details you could have forgotten over the years are there. Pictures can capture moments in life that some may find insignificant, but they are the beauty of the world around us. Cameras capture that beauty, allows you to hold on to those cherished moments for as long as you want. I treasure my camera more than my life. When my mom tried to steal it, probably to sell it for some extra cash, I tackled her to the ground. That day I received the worst beating so far, but it was worth it. No one touches my Nikon. My father gave it to me._

_It's the only thing I have left of him._

_January 5, 1991 (again, again, AGAIN)_

_8:41 pm, Friday_

_Yes, I'm writing in this again. Call me a hypocrite, like I care!_

_And stupid again(s)! Way to many for my liking. I don't write that much._

_It gets lonely when my mom leaves for work. I'm always left alone and since my mom doesn't cook it's up to me to feed myself. Then there are the bad days where mother decides to be "nice" and calls her boyfriend to babysit me. I don't like him. He's always staring at me with this weird smile. Whenever my mom isn't looking he would always touch my shoulder or try to hug me, but I don't like hugging him since his hands go way to low. Then, when he stays over for the night when my mom is working, he would always check up on me. I wouldn't sleep those nights, I'm always afraid he'll just come in. And he did once! When I woke up he was just staring at me. My mother said that he was just worried about me, that he was a good man. But all the guys she dates are assholes (man, I'm glad __Katsunari-sensei__ isn't going to read this)._

_Eiji, that's the creep, pisses me off. He won't tell me where my mom is. She wont tell me where she works. Come to think of it, I actually don't know what she works as. Mom just leaves around seven or eight and isn't back until morning the next day. I've looked up different jobs that need a person to work late, but the ones I found don't seem right for my mom. Its frustrating. Eiji says she works by the corner, but the stores there close at seven. I'll follow her one day to find out._

_Well, thankfully my mom was running late, so she didn't have time to call Daniel._

_I finished all my homework hours ago, left to only sit in my room to stare at the blank wall. We live on the far side of town. Our house isn't that big, not like the only we lived in with my dad. It's plain white, the paint outside was chipping away. The lawn was in need of a clean up, so was the backyard, and the place always squeaks at night. There's a small kitchen with old appliances, a living room, one bathroom, and two rooms. Of course my mother called the master bedroom leaving me with the dusty kids room. We also have a basement. I have to usually spend my weekend there if I'm being "bad", which is all the time according to my mom. They don't even give me a blanket!_

_Anyway, the reason I'm writing this now is because I've been thinking. That big question that most teens, or soon to be, think about at least once_

_"Is life really worth living?"_

_Is it? Does anyone have an answer for me? What have I done to deserve the life I've been given? I know I'm being selfish. Others have it worse than I do, but I can't help it. Is it so bad to want more? To want my old mother back? To miss my father and to cry over it?_

_I don't even know anymore._

_January 6, 1991_

_8:34 am, Saturday_

_It's finally the weekend and, surprisingly, I've met the standards of a "good boy" according to mother. This means I can actually go out instead of being stuck in the creepy basement._

_Most Saturdays I spend my time in the forest, park, library, or photographer shop. Today I decided to do a little of all four._

_First was the woods, where a number of my pictures come from. Nature is just to beautiful sometimes. Also, taking a long walk through the silent trees, those branches that hold the secrets of the world around me and the silent whisper of the wind blowing through my hair has always calmed me. It helps me forget the troubles of life. Then it was time for a walk in the park. I would say ride, if my mom hadn't sold my bike. Thankfully, Yuudai and his minions weren't there. After that was a stop at the library. Ms. Marriot always smiles when she sees me. If only more people could be like her. She never charges me for any late books. The only thing I take out are photography books and I'm basically the only one who keeps checking them out. I might as well stop bringing them back, but Ms. Marriot could get in trouble, so I do as library policy states. And finally, the photography store..._

_My little haven, far away from home. The store is run by Hiroto and Emi Minoru, a nice old couple from the big city. They moved here for more peace and quiet after so many years in the big city. They treat me more like a son then my own mother; that's saying a lot. Their store is small, but it's also perfection. A case of cameras are set on the left side, along with the cash register. There's a back room where they keep costumes for family photo shoots, which are done in the front. I learned almost everything I know fro__m them, except the things my dad taught me. I would help out in photo shoots or give a hand in the dark room and in return they allowed me to stick around or even give me a couple of bucks for helping. I'm sitting behind the counter writing this. I don't want anyone reading this thing until I'm dead, so I need to make sure my mom doesn't find it._

_January 7, 1991_

_10:37 am, Sunday_

_Sundays scare me. They really do._

_Sunday is the only day my mom and Eiji don't work. Mom goes out grocery shopping, leaving me and Eiji alone for a few hours. It's always scary when I'm alone with him. He's always touching me; a hand on my back, rubbing my shoulders, knee, hand. I get really uncomfortable and try to squirm away, but he doesn't seem to notice, or care. Today he came up behind me while I was watching TV and started massaging my shoulders. He had that look on his face, the same one that old man from church used to give me. I wasn't having it today, so I yelled at him, "Stop it!"_

_He didn't, "I'm just trying to get you relaxed. You're so tense," he whispered into my ear, making me almost puke. He started to move his hands harder, slowly moving them to my chest. I screamed, pushing him away and running straight for my room. When my mom got back I was put into the basement for "acting up" again._

_She didn't even ask for my side of the story! What was wrong with Eiji? He's been acting really weird lately. I'm not sure if I can keep this up. I'll try to talk to my mom about it later._

Asami paused for a moment, thinking over the few pages he had read. This was nothing like he imagined Takaba's childhood to be like. He had always expected his lover to be popular, have a group of friends and be a teacher's worst nightmare. Instead, he seemed antisocial, or more like has bullying issues and a bad home life. Well, it wasn't like he asked Akihito any of these things.

Before he could continue reading, however, the sound of his phone echoed throughout the silent room. Sighing, he put down the journal to read the message on his phone.

**Akihito:** **Hey, I'm calling in for the night. Foods in the microwave.**

Asami smirked, pleased to know his kitten waited for his return home. It pleased him greatly. He looked at the time on his phone, just realizing how late it really was. He was so caught up in reading he hadn't noticed the time. He began to pack his belongings, putting the journal into his briefcase to look at later. Asami decided to leave the rest of them in his office, for if he took them all his nosey kitten would surely find them sooner or later. Checking that he had everything Asami made his way out of the building.

As expected, Akihito left him dinner in the microwave. Asami had always found this aspect of his lover odd. In all honesty, the boy looked to be someone who survived on cheap take-out or microwavable foods. Never had he thought the boy cooked and it was edible, more so delicious. Of course he would never speak his mind. Akihito would for sure throw a tantrum, attaching him with his acid mouth and claws.

Once done Asami made his way to his and Akihito's shared room. Akihito would only use his old room when he was being his stubborn self and got angry with Asami. Although, it always need with Asami barging into the room and _punishing_ his kitten for hiding from him.

Opening the door Asami chuckled. Even if 23 years old Akihito still acted like a kid. The boy was curled up in the fetal position, hugging Asami's pillow close to his body. He stripped into nothing but his boxers and slipped into bed, pulling his lover close. Even in his sleep Akihito knew when he was in Asami's arms as he snuggled deeper into the embrace, sighing then going back to his peaceful sleep.

Asami stroked Akihito's hair, his mind on what he read earlier. He had read a couple of pages and already he could tell something was very off. The boy who was always full of life and happiness wasn't always that person. It made him wonder, what does he really know about Akihito? He was an armature photographer, but took pictures better than some of the most famous photographers out there and just needed that one lucky break. He had a very bad habit of getting in trouble, especially when that trouble involves getting kidnapped. He was one hell of a runner, that's for sure. The boy had lived on his own since he was 15 with the support of his two best friends. Akihito could cook and had an unhealthy obsession with pocky. The list goes on for hours.

However, those are only the small things. Traits he had learned throughout the years of knowing the boy. Of course Akihito knew little about him either, but it's Asami's unwillingness to talk that comes in. Unlike himself, Akihito has tried to get to know him. If Asami was completely honest, he knew nothing of Akihito's feelings or personal background. This bugged the yakuza, as he liked to know every detail of his kitten (something that comes with being so possessive of his property).

Deciding to dwell on it in the morning, Asami lied down next to Akihito for a well deserved rest.

**Well, that's the second chapter. Sorry about the really late update. The cable box was cut by this group of guys who wanted to rob the store right next to my house and it was so that no one could call the police I guess. They still got caught xD. But yea I didn't have internet for a while until Verizon got here to repair the box. I hope this meets all ur expectations.**

**Listen you guys. This week most likely I wont be updating. I have state testing, so I kinda wont have time to write. By the next Friday I hope to have a new chapter for Cinderfinder and A hunter's Love done. If I don't then don't bash me xD.**

**Review!**


	3. January 8, 1991, 6:36 am, Monday

_**January 8, 1991**_

_**6:36 am, Monday**_

_Why couldn't time stop moving? Why couldn't all the clocks in the world stop, making it impossible for today to come. I don't know what was worst, spending my day at home or spending it at school. It's sad to know that more than 1/3 of my life will be spent in school. Well, when I graduate I swear to get out of here. I will not stay, I will not waste my life. I just have to last a few more years, then run when the time comes._

_I feel like something is going to happen..._

_Well, if the bad feeling was that I would end up sitting on the pavement with trash over my body, then I was right. Stupid school, stupid people, stupid teachers, stupid life! Why me!? Why? What did I do? Why couldn't I die, then I would be safe with my daddy. I miss my daddy…_

_Yuudai didn't get in trouble, which is not that surprising. What would the world come to when he actually gets in trouble? I'll say this, while he is being escorted to the Dean, I will be the one laughing the loudest. Hey, maybe people will join in!_

_I should have seen it coming when Harumi came to sit at my lone table. She looked so sincere and actually nice. She even looked guilty when it happened, when Yuudai came behind and dumped his lunch on me. I didn't look at her when I got up, lunch in hand, and walked out of the lunch room. The rest of the day was respectfully spent on the school roof, alone._

_I don't want to be here anymore. _

_I want to leave, forever and never look back._

_Would I be able to do that? Where would I live? Will I have enough money to get by? Can I even get alone long enough for no one to see me leave? Wait, what about Elvira? I can't just leave her! Ugh, to many problems. I guess I'll plan it out and then decide on whether or not to do it._

_Who knows, maybe things will get better by then..._

**NOTE:**

**Wow, this was a lot shorter then expected. I was a little hesitant on doing this, but I think it would be fair to both you guys and myself. I plan on uploading a chapter, or journal entry, everyday or every other day. That was it can be constant small updates (with the few longer chapters) consistently. It will make this particular story way longer then I thought it would be, but it also makes sense with the concept of the story. So, love or hate it, I don't care, and I'll see you (not quite see) tomorrow with the next entry. Peace...  
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	4. January 9, 1991, 5:42 pm, Tuesday

_**January 9, 1991**_

_**5:42 pm, Tuesday**_

_Elvira has been getting very clingy lately. I think she knows what I am planning to do. It just makes my situation a lot harder. Elvira would still be on the street. I don't think I would be able to support myself and a cat who constantly needs food. I have no problem about letting myself go hungry for a few days, but I couldn't bare the thought of Elvira having to endure that just because I was selfish enough to take her with me._

_On the other hand she could starve a lot quicker with me not around to give her food every night. Maybe I could let her into the house before I leave? No, that wouldn't work. Mom would probably kill her as soon as she saw her, or if she found out the source of the missing food. Elvira has lived on the street her whole life, I have good faith that she would make it without me. When I'm older I want to come back and take her away from the streets. I promise I will have enough money to take care of her. She deserves the best, and hopefully I'll give her that later on._

_I went to talk to her after school. She was lying on top of our trash bin when she saw me. She jumped up, like always, and scurried towards me. She wrapped her tail around my leg while she snuggled her head against it. I laughed and bent down to carry her. I was always careful when carrying her, mostly because I want her to feel the gentleness an actual pet feels. The gentleness that I don't get._

_"I'm going to miss you," I told her while she was eating the leftover bread I gave her. She made a small sound, sort of like a sad purr, "I know, I know girl. I don't want to leave you either, but I don't think I'll make it any longer if I stay. I promise to leave you plenty of food before I go. I'll see if I can get someone to feed you every once in a while. Maybe Emi-san will agree to it. She likes animals."_

_Elvira used her legs to lift her upper half, coming face to face with me. I really wished she could talk, but at that moment her eyes showed what she wanted to tell me. "I promise to come back for you girl. I will never forget you. You got me through so many tough times. When I grow up I'll come back and take you away from all this. By then I'll be able to give you a real home. Just wait for me."_

_She didn't say anything, not that she could, but it felt as if she understood._

_If only I was that important to someone. I used to be, when my father was around. Then, after the accident, mom changed. She isn't my mother anymore. She is now just the woman who gave birth to me and now is forced to take me in. I no longer see her as my mother and I never will. I'll have no problems leaving her behind._

_That reminds me, I have to start planning for my trip. I think my "mom", as I am so used to calling her, still keeps the money in her drawer. With enough, I may be able to make this plan a reality._

_Sorry mom._

_...No, I'm really not._

**There is the next chapter. I don't really know why I focused this one around the cat. I guess I wanted to show how caring Akihito can be while at the same time no one seems to care for him. Next chapter should be about the plan, unless I happen to change my mind. Well, that's all I really had to say. See you guys soon!**


	5. January 10, 1991, 7:35 pm, Wednesday

**This is the next chapter. I'd like to apologize for not updating yesterday. I was actually planning to, but was tied to bed with a stomach virus. Nothing serious, just one of those sick days that some people get. I think it might have been food poisoning. I don't really know, mostly because I toughed it out in bed instead of the doctor. Yeah, stupid, but I hate going and only go when needed, not for something I could sleep off in a day.**

***Another thing, I picked Yokohama Station (an actual station in Japan) because, according to the character book, Akihito was born in Kanagawa Prefecture. For those of you who don't know, Yokohama is the capital of Kanagawa. Just wanted to point that out if any of you guys questioned why I picked these places. If you have any more questions later on feel free to PM me, because I may not see your comment or might miss it.  
><strong>

**Enjoy the chapter!**

_**January 10, 1991**_

_**7:35 pm, Wednesday**_

_Eiji is babysitting me for the day. Basically, I'll have to wait for dinner, if it ever comes, and lock myself in my room for the rest of the night. Judging by the time I can make a pretty good guess that dinner won't be coming any time soon. Time to lock the door…_

_Now, without any worries of Eiji coming in without permission, I can write down my plan._

_1) Get Money_

_The main issue I may have for my plan is the need for money. I hate to admit it, but I won't be able to survive long on my own without a means of purchasing food. Even I need to eat at least once a day, and considering I will be on my own that makes it even more important to have now. I'll have to check how much I have saved and how much my 'mom' has in her drawer._

_2) Set a Specific Date_

_I can't just leave any day. Even though she doesn't care for me, 'mom' would still stop me from running away. She probably doesn't want to get in trouble with the police. It could be a Saturday, maybe even this Saturday. I'll already be out, I'll just leave earlier than usual and never come back._

_3) Packing_

_What exactly am I supposed to bring with me? A backpack full of what exactly? Money, my camera, a few clothes i guess, and a couple packs of gum should do it. Gum will always be a good source of distracting hunger._

_4) A Destination_

_Where exactly am I planning to go? *Yokohama Station is about an hour walking, then from there I can see what train is leaving next. Maybe I'll stay somewhere close. It would make it easier to know the area I was in. But, staying close could also make it easier for them to find me, and we wouldn't like that now would we?_

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><p><em>I skipped a little to show that I left for a bit. It wasn't really worth to skip a page. Anyway, I had one of the scariest experiences with Eiji ever.<em>

_I was going to the bathroom, and I made sure that the coast was clear before I stepped out into the hallway. When I was about halfway to my wanted room, Eiji stepped out from behind the side wall. It scared me so much I jumped. I decided to speak to him, only to distract myself from the creepy look he was giving me._

_"What the hell are you doing here?" I remember yelling at him._

_He smirked at me, almost seeming amused by my outburst, "Can't a man walk around his girlfriend's house?"_

_"There's a man here?" I mumbled mostly to myself._

_Apparently, it wasn't low enough because he let out an angry growl. Eiji came up suddenly and pushed me against the wall, his hands wrapped around my throat dangerously tight. "I'd watch that tongue of yours, unless you wish to lose it you filthy excuse for a boy!" he threatened._

_By that point he was squeezing my neck really tight, to the point that air couldn't get past. I started to struggle, clawing at his hands around my throat. "L-let me g-go!" I managed to choke out. The funny thing is he did. He let go, and even bent down to see if I was okay._

_At first I was confused, that is, until I heard him whisper, "Can't have your mom seeing that. She'll flip out and won't have sex with me for a week!"_

_I gave him a disgusted look. I mean, who wants to have sex with my 'mom'? "Stop touching me you stupid old man."_

_His eyes darkened in a way I haven't seen before. "Wouldn't you like me to touch you?" he asked, one of his hands going towards my thigh._

_I, with much dignity if I may add, began to freak out._

_"Get away from me you creep!"_

_I managed to push him back to the ground, getting up and making a run for the bathroom. I just barely jumped over the hand he reached out to grab me with. Once at the door I slammed it shut, taking plenty of deep breaths to calm my fast beating heart. Yes, it may have been over dramatic, sue me, I don't care! I was extra careful when coming back to my room._

_What did I gain from my little run in with Eiji? The 100% true fact that he was a selfish jerk. A jerk I need to stay clear of. He keeps becoming creepier and no one believes me, or more like 'mom' doesn't believe me. She spanked me when I told her what he was doing. She called me a liar, that I was just jealous of her spending more time with Eiji and for having someone who loves her, unlike me. She said I was just trying to make her unhappy. Who am I supposed to tell then, when my so called mother doesn't vouch for me?_

_They can both go to hell, Eiji first because 'mom' doesn't try to touch me all the time. Then, after Eiji burns and is left for dead in a den of hungry demons, can my 'mom' go in as dessert._

_Was that a little mean? I wouldn't care, but my dad would be disappointed if he ever found out I thought like that. Maybe they don't have to go to hell, they can just go into one of those poor, neglected elderly homes. Then they'll be treated like me and get a taste of what it feels like to be helpless. They will know how it is to not be able to defend themselves, and have people laugh at their misfortune. Yeah, that idea sounds better._


	6. January 11, 1991, 6:57 pm, Thursday

**January 11, 1991**

**6:57 pm, Thursday**

_I went to go see my dad today._

_The bus always comes to pick the kids up from school right when the bell rings. Even though I am not eligible to take the bus, according to the school who would rather have a kid walk home alone, the driver likes me and will willingly give me a ride. She passes by my street anyway and usually leaves me in the corner. Today, however, I didn't want to spend an entire afternoon with Eiji after what happened yesterday. I stayed on the bus for a little longer than normal. I gazed out the window, glad that Yuudai wasn't on this bus, when the graveyard caught my eye. I waited for the bus to stop, which it did only a few blocks away, and thanked the lady before getting off._

_I shuffled most of the way there. Graveyards were never my favorite place to hang out. The high gates were a bit rusted from years of weathering. My feet crunched under the small layer of snow from last night. A chilly breeze passed, making me snuggle further into my coat. Even though I wasn't as informed in religion as most kids my age should be, by standards, I said a little prayer while walking around. A few of the tombstones were chipping, a few even on the verge of breaking in half. It was sad to see so many forgotten beings gathered in one place. Finally, much to my relief, I found what I was looking for. Far out, beside the barren trees at the end of the yard, was my father's grave. Before, when money wasn't a problem, my mother used a lot of it to make my dad's funeral special. Only close relatives and friends were allowed. She had the stone specially made and engraved, hired cooks to make food for after the ceremony, and even had the graveyard closed to everyone else not invited. It was when she was still mom, and loved me and my dad with all her heart. Now, years later, I stand next to that same stone. I dusted off some of the snow and sat down, not caring if my pants would get wet._

_And I just sat._

_What else was I to do? My whole life changed after that day, when my father was officially given the right to rest in peace and move on to whatever was out there._

_My mother broke. She began to drink, something she hadn't done since her and my father met in college. She drank, again and again, in the morning to until late at night. At first I would be there to comfort her, hold her while she cried out for the man she loved until she eventually cried herself to sleep. Then the violence began. The blaming, the name calling, the pushes, the slaps, the kicks, the punches. Oh, the blaming was the least harmful, physically that is. It would instead leave my younger self broken for many years until I was able to comprehend what was going on. She blamed me for what happened. If I hadn't been sick then dad would be alive. If I wasn't around, and went to school like my mom thought I should, then he wouldn't have been out there. If I wasn't born she could still be with him._

_Would my dad be happy with what he saw? Is he watching me right now, shaking his head at how bad things are? Would it be my fault again? Did I not do enough to help mommy? Did I fail both of them? So many questions that I can't have answered until I'm with him. Hopefully, I will find my answers beforehand._

_I felt a breeze, but unlike the colder ones on my way here, this one was warmer. Comforting. The breeze seemed to wrap around me, engulfing my body in a warm embrace for a few unforgettable seconds. Before I could even think my body was already reacting to the touch, reaching up to return the warmth. It was gone as soon as it came. With the loneliness of life forgotten at the moment, I got up and walked away from my dad, giving a small goodbye before fully turning away._

_I made the journey home with a bit more hope and the comforting feeling of being protected._

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><p><strong>Well, that was the next chapter. I wanted to show how much Akihito actually loved his father, and show a bit of how much things have changed for him in just a few years. More will be revealed later on in the story, like how his father died, why his mother blames him, etc. etc. Also, sorry for the slight add in on religion. I thought it sensible to add that he prayed for all of the bodies there, to show that he is caring. I meant no harm and have little knowledge to Japanese religion. Don't look to into that part and go along with it...please...<br>**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you all for the feedback and all of the nice reviews. I read through all of them and love to see how you guys view some of the elements of the story. Feel free to add any insight or if you feel something should be added. A reviewer gave me the advice to keep the setting in Japan instead of starting in America, like some of the earlier readers will know before I rewrote those parts. Doing a bit of research adds to the effect of the story and I don't mind doing it at all.**

**The next chapter should be out in the next few days. If not tomorrow than Thursday, mostly because my schedule is full on Wednesday. Other than that, have a good one and see you guys soon.**


	7. January 13, 1991, 2:18 am, Saturday

_**January 13, 1991**_

_**2:18 am, Saturday**_

_I have to get out of here._

_I can't stay here._

_He's going to wake up soon._

_He's going to come back for me._

_He's going to do it again._

_I have to run._

_I can't say goodbye to anyone._

_What will happen to Elvira?_

_Can't think of these questions right now._

_I must leave._

_My stuff isn't all packed._

_The money is still in the drawer._

_Have to get away._

_I HAVE TO LEAVE!_

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><p><strong>Hmm, what have we here? I'm not really sure if I should upload the next part to this. Hmm... Today or tomorrow? I'll think about it. Sorry for the very short chapter, it just goes along with the theme of the story and how it's written. All will be explained shortly in the next chapter. Until then, see you either in an hour or tomorrow!<br>**

**I'm a jerk, but a well meaning one :3...**


	8. January 13, 1991, 7:49 am, Saturday

_**January 13, 1991**_

_**7:49 am, Saturday (again)**_

_The old woman sitting on the other side said that we were about halfway there. When I got on I immediately went to sleep. The hour and a half walk into the city was harder than I expected. The only reason I didn't get lost was because of the maps around each block*. With their help I was able to find the station, and just in time to buy a ticket for the next train. The old woman said that my stomach growled while I was sleeping, so she gave me one of the breads she was carrying. I wouldn't have normally taken it, but I'm on my own now and need all the help I can get._

_I've calmed down enough. I needed to get away from them, from him._

_Mom and Eiji were drinking. I don't know why and I don't think I ever will. Mom had to work later, so it didn't make sense for her to be drinking so much. When they finished the first case they went to go get more. I think it was on the third case when mom decided to head out to work, leaving me with Eiji for the night._

_I tried my best to be quiet while I cleaned up the mess. I left the back door open to make the multiple trips easier. It was also to let Elvira in for a bit while Eiji was asleep on the couch. She ate some of the leftover meat from last night, the food that was supposed to be for Eiji. With the mess of bottles cleaned and Elvira fed (sadly I had to tell her to get out encase Eiji woke up), I grabbed my portion of food to go. I didn't want to spend my dinner with a snoring drunk who was drooling on the couch cushion._

_I don't remember when I fell asleep. That would explain my lack of knowledge of how Eiji got into my room, seeing how I don't remember if I locked the door._

_I felt him at first, the weight of his body pushing me further into the mattress. I smelt him next, the rancid odor of alcohol coming from his mouth. I could hear his pants, disgustingly close to my ear. I heard him whispering in my ear all the things he wanted to do to me, making me shake in fear I've never felt before. I managed to convince myself to open my eyes, but immediately regretted the decision. His eyes, they looked at me with one purpose only. I can still remember it clearly._

_"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I can recall yelling at him._

_He smiled at me, like I was stupid for even asking. He answered bluntly, "I'm going to fuck you until I'm satisfied. What do you think I'm doing?"_

_"Get off me you drunk pervert!" I cried, trying to push him off the bed._

_Eiji grabbed my hands, pinning them above my head and got on top of me. He used his other hand to push my head down into the pillow, cracking my neck in the process. He started to lick my neck, biting and kissing it a few times. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever felt. I started to struggle again, only to stop when he put more weight on my head, making me cry out in pain. What he said next would hurt more than anything he did to me._

_"Keep still you little slut, I paid your mother good money for this."_

_I inhaled sharply, trying to understand the words that he said. "W-what?"_

_Eiji laughed, "Did poor little Takaba not listen to our conversation while your mother was here? She needed money for the rent. I guess she's getting old. The men seem to go for the younger ones now, leaving her alone in the corner with all the other useless women. I gave her an offer she couldn't pass down. I get to have you all I want in exchange for paying her rent. At first she was hesitant, but with a few more drinks in her she was all for it. Your mine for tonight."_

_At that point I started to cry. Mom would never do that, no matter how much she's changed. Right? He had to be lying. "YOUR A LIAR! STOP LYING TO ME! GET OFF ME! STOP!"_

_He started to pull off my shirt, ripping it open to then start working on my pants._

_"MOMMY! HELP! PLEASE!"_

_Eiji laughed as he started to do things to me. He used his mouth, his teeth, his didn't want to stop. No matter how much I begged him he didn't want to stop. He- oh kami, I can't write this. I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER!_

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><p><em>I found the rent money, plus whatever else in her drawer, just like he said. She really did sell me out, literally. She did this to me. She let him. It's her fault. I hate her.<em>

_I'm not even sure if I brought everything I needed. I needed to leave before he came back. I mostly stuffed everything into my bag in a hurry. I made sure to pack my Nikon and the money, especially since it was much more than I thought there would be. I don't know why I decided to bring this book with me, it really isn't important. Oh, well._

_The train announced we'd be arriving in another hour. I guess I'll get some sleep, it might be the awhile until the next time I sleep on something comfortable._

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><p><strong>Wow, that was sad to write. I didn't want to get to graphic, because 1) Akihito is a kid in this and 2) I have an idea that would make many of you happyannoyed at the end of this, so the extra details would ruin that plan.  
><strong>

**Either way, things will start to get a bit more serious at this point. I forgot to add this to the other chapters, which I will soon do, but I haven't added a disclaimer in a while.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of this series, only the made up story they are being used in. Credit to Wendelin Van Draanen and her amazing book_ Runaway _that inspired this story.  
><strong>

***About the map thing, many streets in Japan do not have names. Instead, the sections that make up those streets, or blocks, are given numbers. Because of this system there are maps placed around the blocks to help navigate around. I do not know specifically where, but I thought to add this element to make it possible for Akihito to actually make his way around while having no experience of traveling beforehand. **

**Other than that, see you guys soon!**


	9. January 13, 1991, 7:53, Saturday

**_January 13, 1991_**

**_7:53 pm, Saturday (again again)_**

_It turns out that I am very bad at reading maps. Randomly walking anywhere is the way to go.  
><em>

_When I woke up I was surprised with the number of people on the train. I was awkwardly pushed against the window with two other men sitting beside me. Thankfully nobody touched my bag or opened the notebook plainly lying on the floor. It took at least five stops for the subway to decline in people, only to later come back with a whole new set. I was lucky though. Yokahama Station isn't nearly as packed as Tokyo Metro. From the stories I have heard from Emi-san, a person can get lost in a matter of minutes. _

_The subway took me all the way to Tokyo, where my father started his career as a photographer. Of course he had a few pointers, and much more money than I do, and was older. We're still the same. I'm going to work my way up to the top! I'm going to be the best, not just for me, but for Dad._

_The streets weren't packed yet. A few men and women in suits walked into big buildings, but most were in street clothes and heading off to places other than work. I was able to find a big park nearby with the help of a few nice strangers. Once I found a nice spot away from people I took the time to see what I actually brought with me. _

_-Money: 200,000 ¥ (well, 199,800 ¥ after paying the park entry)_

_-Water: 5 bottles_

_-Gum: 3 packs_

_-Clothes: 2 shirts, 2 socks, 3 boxers, 1 jacket_

_-Food: 2 bags of chips and 2 boxes of pocky_

_-And my camera and this stupid journal._

_I didn't need to worry about food for today, just thinking of this morning makes me lose my appetite. I planned to explore the park, find a nice tree to climb in, and sleep until the park opens again. Hopefully tomorrow I could find a building I could sleep in instead of outside. _

_The park was beautiful, with trees surrounding the green plains filled with relaxing people. While I took pictures of different people, ranging from a family having a picnic to a person just reading, I managed to get a good idea of where I am. This park was apparently in the middle of Tokyo, and one of the most popular to visit. Outside there were many small shops, along with the company buildings only a couple minutes away. The nearest school was a bit of a walk, but it made a good sneak away place if I was ever recognized by the police, that is if my mother even bothered to call them. She's probably happy I left and is sitting with Eiji right now. Eiji….._

_I've been sitting in this tree for about 3 hours, trying to find a position that no one could see me. It's in between two of the three gardens in the park. Since the park is so big I just had to wait until the coast was clear to climb up. Most of the people were leaving either way, since the park closed at around 4:00. The sun is already starting its slow decent down from the sky. A bird flew past my head and settled on the branch above mine. It's so small, get it has the strength to fly for miles in the sky without resting. The flowers in the trees were growing, the leaves shielding my body from the cool evening air. Even after sleeping most of the train ride I was both physically and mentally drained. _

_I shifted awkwardly on the branch then sighed. I would have to start getting used to sleeping uncomfortably. My dad used to tell me stories of when he was younger, before he gave up high-risk jobs in the city to instead take care of his family and move us to a small town. He told me of the many times he would end up spending the whole night awake in a cramped space, waiting for dealers to come out with their partners in crime. Once he spent 7 hours in a vent just to take pictures of a small time yakuza paying a group of cops as compensation for keeping his dealings under cover from the public. My dad also ended up having to hide out at a friend's place for a few weeks when the gang went looking for the photographer who took the pictures. Yet, after all of that drama, my dad still continued to take jobs like that. And he loved every minute of it. _

_It makes me wonder if I would ever be as good of a photographer as my dad. I wonder what he would say now, if he knew I was out here on my own. Well, there's no backing out now. The only thing I can do is try to sleep and hope I find somewhere else to stay tomorrow. _

**Well, that was the next chapter. I'm really sorry I didn't keep to the whole "one update per day/every other day" thing. Boot camp (as I like to call it) for marching band was a lot tougher than last year, since we got a handful of new teachers. Let's just say I passed out on my bed as soon as I got home ever night. That took a while to get over, and add to that having to get done with last minute summer work. I finally took the time to write a new chapter. I believe I should be able to post another tomorrow, but for now enjoy this. **

**Time to go work on I'm Done, then hopefully New Found Love.**

***ALSO! Side note on the amount of money Akihito has. 200,000 may seem a lot for people who are not aware of how much one Yen is to the American dollar, but it actually is only around $1,637. And the simple things found in convenience stores will drain that money. A bottle of water cost about 100** ¥, **so food it bound to cost even more than that. The reason why I gave him that amount of money is because the average housing cost in suburban areas in Japan is around 300,000 yen. Since they live in a really old and small house I believed that 200,000 is a fair amount.**


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